"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: May 5, 2019
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I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Played with the Gk event this past weekend and hag a fun time with them. Big shout out to Johnny for setting everything up along with Royal Links, Gol... » More
Played with the Gk event this past weekend and hag a fun time with them. Big shout out to Johnny for setting everything up along with Royal Links, Golfmoose and Linksoul for the awesome swag for the prizes. I have played champions a few times and I regret to say this course has seen better days. Now it has never been a perfect conditioned course when I have played but Saturday it seemed like the course has been let go a bit. I will go into more detail below about that.
The major issue we had Saturday was the Cart Lady! She is a thief! Being stacked up my brothers group was behind us so Gregholla decided to buy them a shot as we were on the green them on the fairway. We let the cart lady know that these two drinks were for the group on the tee. She said no problem and drove over to them. We found out later at the Vue restaurant that she did not give them the drinks and charged them for the ones they ordered. We were pissed. I must say the GM or Restaurant manager was very apologetic and promptly brought out doubles to them so that was amazing for him to go above and beyond especially seeing how the restaurant is separate from the golf facility. That is the only reason we gave a three star. The rest of the staff was friendly so that was nice.
As for conditions of the course I mentioned that they were sub-par for this course. Starting with the driving range were its all mats and half of them were missing the tee holders. Also there are not enough stations for one course let alone two. Tee's were decent and offered adequate space to tee it up. Fairways were Ok with mostly grass but sometimes different types. A lot of holes were CPO for some reason and the carts didn't tell us until on the grass were we had to back up to the CP. Rough was a real mixed bag of grass switching to brush the farther off fairway. Sand was absolutely terrible, I was in 5 or 6 traps and none had sand I dont know why this is a problem as its not windy often and the course makes money with the high rack rates. As for the greens they were medium fast and a little bumpy (from play not courses fault) Also the pins were in some tough location which is becoming the norm for all GK events it seems.
Overall if it wasn't for a GK Plays or event I wont be back until they fix some issues.» Close
Went out and played Terranea this morning with my Family and we enjoyed a nice day. This course is a 9 hole par three course that is ranked top 5 for ... » More
Went out and played Terranea this morning with my Family and we enjoyed a nice day. This course is a 9 hole par three course that is ranked top 5 for par 3 courses in america. Although not overly long the holes have some teeth. The holes range from 100-175 yards from the back tee's and there are a lot of bunkers surrounded by fescue next to the greens. Throw in a stiff ocean breeze and this course can destroy you. Conditions were tip top with the exception of a few traps that could use a little TLC. I highly recommend playing here because even if you are having a bad round you can still look out the pacific ocean and Catalina.» Close
Joined the Gk community for the event on the 30th. Course is still in fantastic shape even after two weeks of 100°+ heat from the last time out. Cours... » More
Joined the Gk community for the event on the 30th. Course is still in fantastic shape even after two weeks of 100°+ heat from the last time out. Course was lush and mostly green from Tee to Green. I must say the staff here is amazing and is very friendly. The entire event went smooth and it seemed that everyone had a blast.
I dont have a ton to add to the rest of the reviews. Tee's were great and had ample space to choose from. Fairways lush and rolling well. Greens soft and rolled real nice. I believe hole 7 has a little GUR near the green but it does not affect you much. Sand is fantastic now that they have replenished all of the green side bunkers.
This course is a must play when in vegas and IMO the most fun of all of the courses.» Close
Joined Rob, John and my Father on 6/28 for a fun round out at Bali Hai. Having played here a few times before I knew what I was getting into when we g... » More
Joined Rob, John and my Father on 6/28 for a fun round out at Bali Hai. Having played here a few times before I knew what I was getting into when we got to the course. The staff is super friendly from the moment you arrive. Check-in was simple and our bags were on carts by the time we left the pro shop. Every thing about this course has a laid back vibe, from the Tiki decor and the country and island music playing by the snack shake to the crush shell mounds separating the holes.
As for course conditions I thought it was better than expected for end of June. The tee's were goods and had great coverage with the exception of two or three that needed to be moved. Fairways lush and mostly green providing great roll and fluffy enough lies to hit your approach shots. Rough was good and wasn't overly penal. Greens were medium/fast and held most well well hit shots. The one thing to note is the greens here are tough and the pin locations were tough all day. It is always best to shoot for middle of the green here as there are many false edges.
Overall this course is a blast to play even with the planes constantly flying over it is still worth it IMO. I recommend you go out and play.» Close
First time at Coyote Hills after hearing about it for so long, being a top OC course my expectations were high. In all honesty I was let down now dont... » More
First time at Coyote Hills after hearing about it for so long, being a top OC course my expectations were high. In all honesty I was let down now dont get me wrong this is still a fun course, I just had high hopes for better conditions.
Starting with the tee boxes, the par threes were annihilated and had lots of divots with no where to tee it up. Fairways had good coverage with a few different types of grass on some but the offered a great roll and a somewhat decent lie. Rough was a mixed bag but not bad for the most part especially around the greens. Now for the bad. The sand that I was in was terrible all firm with weeds growing out of them, my playing partners were a little more lucky as a few had some sand. Greens were soft and very very bumpy. I would like to blame the morning group for the bumps but it was more the grass itself. I think if they firm up the greens it would play smoother but obviously bring in the issues surrounding the greens.
The layout is great other than it is short and not being able to hit driver on half the holes is strange to me. If a good deal is found I would still return but only if no other deals are out there.» Close
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