"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: November 4, 2019
Follow me on Instagram mpisarski01
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Got out yesterday at noon using Club Corp play away. Starting from the valet to the proshop and starter the service was top notch. It was a busy after... » More
Got out yesterday at noon using Club Corp play away. Starting from the valet to the proshop and starter the service was top notch. It was a busy afternoon at IWCC but the staff does their best to make everyone happy. The starter even let me tee off 45 mins before my tee time because there was an opening.
The course was in great shape as expected this time of the year in the desert. From tee to green everything was lush and if I could nit pick anything it would be the tee's on par 3's were chewed up. This course IMO is very easy if you can keep your shots reasonably straight. Fairways are flat and other than a few lakes and green side bunkers there are not a lot of forced carries. The greens were not tricked out and seemed to be a little flat for my liking. Holes 11-16 have the mountains on the right and are visually epic.
Overall this is a very fun course if you want to score well but I was expecting it to be much harder. After talking to the guys in the shop after they mentioned that the classic course has most of the tough greens that are elevated and tricked out but no mountains.» Close
Went out yesterday using a combo of certificates and promo codes from Teeoff.com to the just re-opened from over seeded and CPO Nicklaus course. Staff... » More
Went out yesterday using a combo of certificates and promo codes from Teeoff.com to the just re-opened from over seeded and CPO Nicklaus course. Staff hew was fantastic and mentioned right away that it was CPO and to expect a little longer POP. We tee'ed off right on time and finished in 4hr 35 mins.
Conditions are great right now with the tee's and fairways stealing the show. Very lush and great lies all day. Greens where also very nice and lush but where shaggy and very slow. This was to be expected with them just opening the day before. Sand looked brown and wet but was very very soft and easy to hit from. The rough was very thick and starting to go dormant like usual for PGA west course but was playable for the most part, no bare spots.
Over all if you can find a deal for this course I highly recommend coming out and playing and its only to get better from here on out with the PGA coming in a little over 2 months.» Close
Played 10/5 and must've just missed Steve and friends. We tee'd off at 10:30 using our free foursome certificate that Apisarski won at a GK event. Th... » More
Played 10/5 and must've just missed Steve and friends. We tee'd off at 10:30 using our free foursome certificate that Apisarski won at a GK event. The staff here was super friendly as usual and the bar food was tasty albeit expensive.
Course is in great shape right now as expected. When you get to the starter he warns you with a smile saying that there are over 100+ bunkers and only about 4 of them are visible from the tee. The last time I played here I did not hit any bunkers but this time I landed in two and both up against the front edge of course. Sand was decent but not great, a bit firm for my taste. Fairway and rough were lush with some of the fescue being knee high even though it looks to be only 3-5 inches, a great job by the grounds crew to make it look like a rolling mound I was convinced that it wasn't that thick. Greens were semi soft and rolled well and quick. The gold tee's we played from seemed to be a bit chewed up but nothing major.
Overall the unique layout itself warrants a trip here even though rates can be a bit high at times but nothing out of the ordinary for Las Vegas.» Close
Decided to finally play Siena yesterday as it was nearby my hotel, boy im glad I did. My expectations for this course was mediocre at best but when I ... » More
Decided to finally play Siena yesterday as it was nearby my hotel, boy im glad I did. My expectations for this course was mediocre at best but when I arrived the course was in really good summer shape. Very few bad spots on the course and it was very visually pleasing.
Tee's, fairways, and rough were in good shape with plenty of grass and very few burned out spots. i did see a few areas where to mower cut too short but nothing to write home about. Greens were a bit slow but held shots and most were smooth. Sand was a mixture depending on the trap, most were wet from morning watering and a few lacked some sand.
This course is very fun with each hole being a little different than the last making it and enjoyable round. I highly recommend in its current shape.» Close
Cascata Boulder City, NVReviewed by: mpisarski01, Costa Mesa
Ventured out to Cascata on Friday with Johnny and the Gk crew. Weather was hot but the stiff breeze made it feel less warm. Speaking of the wind.... i... » More
Ventured out to Cascata on Friday with Johnny and the Gk crew. Weather was hot but the stiff breeze made it feel less warm. Speaking of the wind.... it made this course very difficult. All uphill holes had wind at the back so they were fine but most if not all down hill were into the wind. This made and fade or draw go OB most of the time.
Course was in great summer condition and is better than a majority of the other CA, NV, AZ courses right now. They recently renovated the green side bunkers to nice and fluffy white sand. If you read the reviews from prior people this was needed. They still need to fix some fairway bunkers as there are small pebbles but the firmness is good for fairways. Greens ran smooth and fast like normal. They were however a little firmer than I like and anything landing on the back of the greens would bounce or roll off. The rough was super nasty friday and penalized you severely. Those will slower swing speeds pay the price and its tough to get one out of the rough.
Our caddie was Casey and while being a younger caddie he had been there for 14 years. He was spot on for every little piece of information. Even though we blamed him for the par 3 15th where all of us went into the back bunker haha. He should have told us the wind swirls on the hole. :) This is a great experience and I hope everyone get the opportunity to play here one day.» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
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