"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: May 5, 2019
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I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Decided to finally play Siena yesterday as it was nearby my hotel, boy im glad I did. My expectations for this course was mediocre at best but when I ... » More
Decided to finally play Siena yesterday as it was nearby my hotel, boy im glad I did. My expectations for this course was mediocre at best but when I arrived the course was in really good summer shape. Very few bad spots on the course and it was very visually pleasing.
Tee's, fairways, and rough were in good shape with plenty of grass and very few burned out spots. i did see a few areas where to mower cut too short but nothing to write home about. Greens were a bit slow but held shots and most were smooth. Sand was a mixture depending on the trap, most were wet from morning watering and a few lacked some sand.
This course is very fun with each hole being a little different than the last making it and enjoyable round. I highly recommend in its current shape.» Close
Cascata Boulder City, NVReviewed by: mpisarski01, Costa Mesa
Ventured out to Cascata on Friday with Johnny and the Gk crew. Weather was hot but the stiff breeze made it feel less warm. Speaking of the wind.... i... » More
Ventured out to Cascata on Friday with Johnny and the Gk crew. Weather was hot but the stiff breeze made it feel less warm. Speaking of the wind.... it made this course very difficult. All uphill holes had wind at the back so they were fine but most if not all down hill were into the wind. This made and fade or draw go OB most of the time.
Course was in great summer condition and is better than a majority of the other CA, NV, AZ courses right now. They recently renovated the green side bunkers to nice and fluffy white sand. If you read the reviews from prior people this was needed. They still need to fix some fairway bunkers as there are small pebbles but the firmness is good for fairways. Greens ran smooth and fast like normal. They were however a little firmer than I like and anything landing on the back of the greens would bounce or roll off. The rough was super nasty friday and penalized you severely. Those will slower swing speeds pay the price and its tough to get one out of the rough.
Our caddie was Casey and while being a younger caddie he had been there for 14 years. He was spot on for every little piece of information. Even though we blamed him for the par 3 15th where all of us went into the back bunker haha. He should have told us the wind swirls on the hole. :) This is a great experience and I hope everyone get the opportunity to play here one day.» Close
Used my club card for the $90 rate this morning going I booked the only singles time they had before 11 and tee'd off at 840. POP was decent at 4:20 ... » More
Used my club card for the $90 rate this morning going I booked the only singles time they had before 11 and tee'd off at 840. POP was decent at 4:20 my group had a father and son that were on the slower side for my liking but we kept decent pace and we never saw the group behind us. Staff here was fantastic as always IMO. I even went to the restaurant this morning and if you are a Eggs Benedict fan this place is for you.
As for the course it is in fantastic summer shape. It has been in the high nineties the last few weeks but they have watered the course a bunch to keep it alive. A few fairways were almost too wet and would stop all high shots and leave divots. Greens were smooth and running at a 10.5 per the sheet in the proshop telling you about weather and course conditions. One tip that I have hear is that like money every putt goes to the casino. So knowing that I had a fantastic day putting because this tip was true. Sand was decent to hit out of, out of the three shots I had to hit only one was a touch firm but nothing out of the ordinary.
This course is a must play and if you know someone with a gold card or above at Pechanga the rates are quite reasonable. I will be returning often until my card expires in six months» Close
Had to visit Quintero again on my trip to AZ. Yes this course is a little out there from the city but it is worth the 45 minuet drive from Glendale. I... » More
Had to visit Quintero again on my trip to AZ. Yes this course is a little out there from the city but it is worth the 45 minuet drive from Glendale. I played here last year after GK had a guru visit due to the great reviews and loved everything about the course. This year was no different. The conditions are outstanding for mid summer. The course is green and well manicured. If it wasn't 118° you'd thing its prime season.
Upon arriving and taking the 5 minuet cart ride from the club house to the practice area we were amazed at how green everything still was. Tee's were good with only a little damage on the par 3's which is normal for a busy course. Fairways had great coverage and gave you nice fluffy lies all day. I did notice after taking a divot the ground is still really moist from watering and the fact that its monsoon season. Rough had good coverage with a little discoloring here and there but nothing that takes away from the beauty of this course. Sand traps had a lot of sand and as mentioned previously it is a bit thick. Id rather have thick sand over powder sand any day. I was picking the ball clean on every shot.
As for the greens I needed to start a new paragraph. The greens here are not overly large but offer many different breaks and some that you can not see. The are a little furry to keep them alive in this heat but if you were with the grain they were fast. Against the grain was very slow. The greens were very firm and it was tough to get a ball to stay unless you hit 10ft in front of the pin. I learned the hard way on hole one. I saw a nice backstop to land and spin the ball back to the hole. Unfortunately my well struck approach landed 3 ft past the hole and bounced off the back. Once you get to reading the grain they were a pleasure to play and all putts were smooth rolling.
This course is a must play and the staff was fantastic for the most part. The cart guy in the morning from new york wasn't the friendliest at customer service but he didn't offend me so no biggie. Drinks are expensive and they dont take card on the course yet as the cell signal is bad, not always a bad thing. If you have the time I suggest going. Summer rates were $51 resident and $69 out of state plus you have to pay tax at the course which was almost $7 a person!» Close
Played at 1:20 today with Wendy, Blake and Greg. A fun time was had by our group. The group inn front of us was really quick and was usually 1 hole ah... » More
Played at 1:20 today with Wendy, Blake and Greg. A fun time was had by our group. The group inn front of us was really quick and was usually 1 hole ahead of us and we never saw the group behind so we have a nice relaxing 4:10 round. The staff at Oak Creek is super friendly throughout your experience, all of them had smiles on their face.
I have played Oak Creek and handful of times and normally I have been let down on conditions. Well not today! The course was in fantastic shape right now in the peak of the hot season. Tee's were decent but a few a little chewed up from all of the play before us today. Fairways had full coverage and great lies all day. I know that they are not the pristine emerald green through out but I'd say they were 90% green and were cut perfectly. Rough was a mixed bag the farther you wandered from the fairway but it was all cut nice and had good coverage.
The sand and the greens were the highlight of the day. It seems they added more sand to almost all bunkers and man they are soft, maybe too soft for some people but id rather have that then no sand. Greens were super soft but ran quick which I think is a strange combo but I loved them. Unfortunately the clientele that play in orange county have no Idea what a divot fixer is and leave craters on the greens.
Overall I think this course is in great summer shape and if things stay the same October/ November is looking real good.» Close
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