"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
28 years old
Professional Shitty Golfer
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
|Available to Play Golf:
||Likes to Ride|
|Smokes (while golfing):
|Plays in Tournaments:
Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Spokane/Eastern
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
Cobra KING F8+ set at 9.5°
TM RBZ 3W
TM SLDR 5W
Taylor Made Speed Blade 4-AW
Cleveland TFI 2135 with jumbo winn grip
Srixon or Kirkland Golf balls
Last Updated: February 8, 2018
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a blonde at a golf course? The 19th hole.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By stragetically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
Who taught Elin Nordegren to swing a golf club? Happy Gilmore.
Where is the best place to go on vacation? In the Golf of Mexico!
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf? Fantastic 4-some.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!
Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? Intercourse!
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
How does a brunette keep her husband from a blond working at a golf course? She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one.
What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation? You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again!
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? He's the one getting his balls cleaned.
Choose A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right ?"
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
Matt Pisarski's Latest Blog Entries
There are no blog entries posted by this user.
Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
6/9, 830AM, 85 degrees, 10 mph winds
Not much has change from Tim's last review. Fairways were very nice blend of dormant and lush grass ever... » More
6/9, 830AM, 85 degrees, 10 mph winds
Not much has change from Tim's last review. Fairways were very nice blend of dormant and lush grass every ball sat up nicely. Greens were a little slow for my liking and soft. Tee's and rough good not great. Sand was mostly bad. I know they are working on adding sand to all bunkers but I found every bunker that didn't have sand.
In all great course for a great price and well worth the drive.» Close
Weather- 65° Overcast 10-15 mph Wind
Joined Johnny and AndrewZ28 during their Gk Cup Match. Big thanks to An... » More
Weather- 65° Overcast 10-15 mph Wind
Joined Johnny and AndrewZ28 during their Gk Cup Match. Big thanks to Andrew who hooked us up with the round thanks to his Linksoul career.
Course was in good shape for such a dry winter and I was not disappointed.
Tee's- Tee boxes were mostly level and had some divot damage which is expected on a short course with lots of play. I never had an issue finding a area to tee it up. I did come across 3-4 boxes that were almost too firm to place a tee in the ground.
Fairways- Fairways had good coverage and where a mix of green and brown. I had good lies all day so no complaints.
Rough- There is very little rough on this course du to the turf reduction done a few years ago during the make over. What rough I did find was a nasty mix of grasses which left you a unpredictable lie.
Greens- The greens are 95 percent recovered from punching and rolled true all day. Most greens were soft which cause some spin issues throughout the day but no complaints from me. We played late in the day so there was a few divots to deal with but not as bad as most short courses.
Sand- I did not find any sand yesterday and Andrew was the only one to play from it. It looked soft but cant give a accurate review.
In all this is a fun executive that definitely requires accurate iron shots all day.» Close
Where to start... WOW! What a course!
My brother and I made the 8 hour trek from Southern CA to take advantage of their early season $99 Unlimited ... » More
Where to start... WOW! What a course!
My brother and I made the 8 hour trek from Southern CA to take advantage of their early season $99 Unlimited Golf. Unfortunately we booked a little late and had a 1040 TEE time but fortunately we miss timed our drive in from mammoth and arrived at 9am. The head pro Caleb was super friendly and offered to let us go out on the back 9 first as there was a full tee sheet and no way to get out early so off to the range to take a few swings and get used to the elevation.
The driving range here at Grizzly Ranch is one of the most scenic I have ever played and I would put in in the top 2 along with Cascata. Tall pine trees surrounding the range and ample space to warm up. They have a large putting green to practice on as well as a chipping area with sand.
As for the course I would say its bombers paradise and definitely challenges you to think twice once you get to the first green. The rough is very penal and pin placements can be outright diabolical. The Back nine plays a little more open than the front but there are well placed streams, bunkers, and thick rough to separate fairways causing you to want to lay up.
One of the tips I received prior to playing was keep the driver in the bag on 17. It is a longish par 4 that has a creek cutting across the fairway and it take 290 in the air to clear. As most of you know me I'm not scared to lose a ball and neither is my brother I cleared the creek by 2 inches and my brother crushed one 340 yards. The next time around not so much luck haha.
As for the Conditions. Everything is in as good of shape as you would expect just 2 weeks out from the last snow of the season. The Tee boxes were verti-cut but still in great condition to tee up and hit from.
Fairways - almost carpet like a few spots here and there of dormant grass maybe a week or two out from being perfect carpet fairways. Every ball that we hit from the fairway sat up nice and fluffy which greatly helps the iron game.
Rough was very penal and would just grab your clubs I had a triple chip from 15 yards due to the 4 inch rough around the greens I was not happy at myself. Fescue is another type of rough in abundance near the creeks and over the greens. The fescue was maybe 6 inches in length but was laying down so as long as you didn't blast into it you were able to find and hit from it.
There are not a lot of sand traps on the course and that is probably a good thing because that would make the course too difficult. One of our playing partners did say it was in great shape even though is was slightly damp in the morning. There was definitely ample sand and no rocks to be seen.
The greens were a different monster. We were warned that they were very slow due to the late winter that came through in April and the staff was not wrong. The greens would look like they break a ton but as we were warned that the break would be half of what you would expect. Is was very difficult judging speed all day but still amazing rolls. Some greens have some mountain weeds that are trying to take over but they all rolled true as can be.
Overall I highly suggest playing here regardless how far the drive is. From the staff to the conditions this is High quality mountain golf.» Close
Got our to SilverRock yesterday with some friends using the $69 Underpar Deal for ALL-YOU-CAN-GOLF. We had a 9:15 tee time which we got out about 5 mi... » More
Got our to SilverRock yesterday with some friends using the $69 Underpar Deal for ALL-YOU-CAN-GOLF. We had a 9:15 tee time which we got out about 5 mins behind but nothing to worry about. Staff was great from the bag drop/Valet to the pro shop, starter, and Cart girl.
The Course is in Great shape right now as we head into the hot summer months. Yesterday was 94 and light winds until the second round where the winds started to howl. Tee's, Fairways, Rough, Sand all in tip top shape. The only thing that could negatively affect was there was maybe 1 or 2 burned out areas in the fairways but nothing too bad.
Greens were firm and semi quick. One thing to note is the greens are not overly tough but the are very well protected either by multiple sand traps or water and every hole. There are no freebies on this course.
I highly recommend playing silverRock to anyone looking for a good course at good rates even in the winter season.» Close
First time at Goose today. I knew going in that the greens were still going to be bumpy but I did not expect them to be so firm and fast. It was a mir... » More
First time at Goose today. I knew going in that the greens were still going to be bumpy but I did not expect them to be so firm and fast. It was a miracle if you got you ball to check today. Not a whole bunch to add to the previous review except the Tee's were not as hard as Larry encountered 4 days ago.
Course is very fun and the greens are demanding. My irons were off today and will all of the false edges I did not hit very many GIR's luckily my chipping was on point and I scrambled for a good score.
If you have never played goose I highly recommend it. you will not be disappointed. (unless you want to see a goose, we did not)» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
« Previous | 1 to 13 of 13 Buddies | Next »