"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: November 17, 2019
Follow me on Instagram mpisarski01
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Out with the GK Event yesterday expecting the same conditions in the 9-10 range and was not disappointed. Everything here at Rams hill is top notch. F... » More
Out with the GK Event yesterday expecting the same conditions in the 9-10 range and was not disappointed. Everything here at Rams hill is top notch. From the guard gate in the service is fantastic and you are secluded from the emptiness of the Anza Borrego state park.
Rolling carpet like fairways with nice and fast greens make for a fun day. I did notice they had some storm damage on 3 or 4 holes but it was very small and did not subtract from the overall conditions, Just a little ground under repair. Greens had a lot of play today and started to get a touch bumpy but they still rolled true and fast. Sand was good and not to firm not too soft. Rough wasn't too long and did stop balls from rolling into the desert. Over all I'd give this place a 9/10.» Close
7 of us played on 12/7 at 11:08 and 11:16. A week prior I called to see if they would allow us to have riders with us on the course and the man on the... » More
7 of us played on 12/7 at 11:08 and 11:16. A week prior I called to see if they would allow us to have riders with us on the course and the man on the phone said no problem. When we arrived the three people said no chance, they do not allow more than 2 carts per group the starter was the worst in saying that it wasn’t going to happen because it would slow down the round. Funny how our round still took 5 hours due to a very slow tournament. After some arguing the girls took the car and went and explored Palm Springs. Joke is on fantasy Springs as we were going to stop by and spend more money after the round but that didn’t happen.
As for the course conditions they are fantastic right now as expected. Tee to green everything grass related was well manicured. Greens ran smoothish with medium fast speeds. Only thing to pick on was the sand wasn’t the best and the POP was horrendous. There was a tournament playing from the tips and these guys had no business playing from the whites let alone tips. The Marshall was super friendly and apologetic as there was nothing he could do.
Because of the service it will be a awhile before I go back as it left a bad taste in my mouth.» Close
Played using my Club Corp Play-away membership for a cart fee of $36. That price is much better than the rack rate of $210. I had played here many yea... » More
Played using my Club Corp Play-away membership for a cart fee of $36. That price is much better than the rack rate of $210. I had played here many years ago and remember not being able to finish due to darkness. This time I got to play all 18 holes (barely) POP was 4:35 but felt slower. One thing to note is most of the course is now surrounded by multi million dollar houses but they do not come into play unless you are wild off the tee. Conditions were great not immaculate but knowing that this course is never in full immaculate condition I was surprised on how good it was.
The staff here is very friendly and the starter gave us many tip including that the greens were firm and faster than normal due to the weather the week before. Tee's were in good shape even with the tournament play the last few days and have many options to choose from. Fairways were cut short and provided great roll all day. only a few areas had some issues with browning but those were few and far between. I found the rough to be longer than a usual course but had no issues powering through it. Greens were firm and were lightning fast a two inch putt would go far if you were not below the hole it was fun. The sand was hit or miss on the day, two holes have black sand from Montana and although wet were very powdery. I cant wait to try it when the course has been dry.
Over all if you can snag a deal this course is a lot of fun but with rack rate its tough to justify with so many other options in the Las Vegas area for less.» Close
Played on Black Friday with rob 1563. This was the first time for both of us here at Canyon Gate. I used my club Corp play away card and brought rob a... » More
Played on Black Friday with rob 1563. This was the first time for both of us here at Canyon Gate. I used my club Corp play away card and brought rob as my guest. The guest rate for him was a bit steep at $140 but after playing it seemed to be worth it.
Course conditions were top notch as expected for a private club. From tee to green everything was in excellent shape. I would say they overseeded 90% of the course with only rough that was more than 15-20 yards off the fairway going dormant. Greens were smooth and fast which made for an adventure on multi tiered greens. The layout keeps you entertained throughout the round with water in play on 8-9 holes. I can’t wait to play again» Close
I am going to start this review with one word....
I have played some well manicured courses before but this one might take the cake. Pla... » More
I am going to start this review with one word....
I have played some well manicured courses before but this one might take the cake. Playing two weeks ago on the sister course I did not realize how nice the classic was going to be. When Gregholla and I pulled in the gate we were amazed. Everything was SPECTACULAR from dark green rough to emerald fairways to the purest greens I have encountered playing golf.
The course was pretty open today on the tee sheet and we zipped around as a twosome in less than 3:15 passing 2 groups during our round. I could not find any blade of grass out of place and ZERO brown spots the entire day. Tee's were flat and cut just right. They had a few options to choose from so you dont have to worry about length of the course. Fairways were just cut this morning and rolled really nice and had very few divots. Rough was medium in length and would stop any roll as it should. You must make clean contact otherwise you were not going to advance the ball very far. Greens were medium/firm and quick today and we only encountered one ball mark from a previous group that was 3 inches from the hole and that was it (PERFECTION).
If I were to nitpick anything on the entire day it would be the sand. It was not bad but it was a little firm for my liking. Maybe 1 inch of sand and a firm under layer. I did not have any troubles getting out but it was the only thing keeping the course from a perfect 10!
If you have the chance to be invited or have a clubcorp playaway membership you must get out here immediately. I normally consider myself a tough critic but this day blew me away!» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
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