"Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that terrible incident with the Dinosaurs."
29 years old
Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
|Available to Play Golf:
||Likes to Ride|
|Smokes (while golfing):
|Plays in Tournaments:
Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northern Arizona; Colorado; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Vancouver/Southwest; Spokane/Eastern; * Other
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
UPDATED AFTER CLUBS STOLEN IN FEBRUARY 2019
Callaway Rogue Driver - Project X Custom Shaft
Loaned Callaway XR 3 & 5 woods with project x smoke
Taylormade M6 4-AW
Odyssey Exo 7 putter
Chrome Soft or Z stars
Last Updated: May 5, 2019
Follow me on Instagram par_ski
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By strategically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golf ball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
Matt Pisarski's Latest Blog Entries
There are no blog entries posted by this user.
Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Played with Sixpez, Gregholla, and Mike during the GK event on Saturday. Every time I get to play this course I get excited as I love the layout and c... » More
Played with Sixpez, Gregholla, and Mike during the GK event on Saturday. Every time I get to play this course I get excited as I love the layout and conditions. This weekend was no exception. From tee to green everything was fantastic. I don't have a ton to add to the rest of the reviews from the weekend other than I wasn't a huge fan of the greens this time around. They were multi colored and Firm. The colors made it tough to judge some breaks but I am also not a great putter so Ill split the blame 50/50. Tee, Rough, and Fairways were fantastic as always. San was good not great I was in 3 and 2 of them were great the other was a little hard.
Overall this is a must play.» Close
Joined GK out at Sandpiper today. Weather was raining on the first hole then partly cloudy the rest of the round. Big thanks to the Man, the Myth, The... » More
Joined GK out at Sandpiper today. Weather was raining on the first hole then partly cloudy the rest of the round. Big thanks to the Man, the Myth, The Legend Johnny GK for setting up the Gurus at this fantastic place. About 15 mins north of Santa Barbara sits this masterpiece of a golf club. Stunning Panoramas and well placed holes along the Pacific Ocean this is definitely a spectacular course.
Conditions today were fantastic. From the moment you drive in you see the dark green rough and light green fairways. From Tee to green the course was in fantastic shape. Greens were firm and fast and had it not rained for 20 minuets before our tee time they would have been lightning fast and very firm. The only thing I could possibly nit pick are the bunkers were 50/50 depending on which one you were in, some having ample sand and some lacking.
Staff here is friendly and the Tri-Tip nachos at the restaurant were fantastic, they can feed 3 people. I highly recommend playing.» Close
Played the Valley course on the second part of our Underpar Voucher yesterday. In my opinion the valley course is the lesser of the two courses at JW ... » More
Played the Valley course on the second part of our Underpar Voucher yesterday. In my opinion the valley course is the lesser of the two courses at JW Marriott. However it is not a bad course. Valley has more undulation as the palm has more hazards. Conditions were identical to Palm with the greens being much better. They did not have the strange mower marks and were firm with a medium pace. Fairways, tee's, and rough were fantastic just like Palm but the bunkers were bad as well.
Valley is shorter and offers more opportunities to cut corners and score but most greens are surrounded by bunkers and/or water. I do recommend playing the valley but give the choice to only play one I'd choose palm.» Close
Took advantage of an underpar voucher 2 players unlimited golf for $99 yesterday. We were second out at 630AM on the palm course with 68° and no wind ... » More
Took advantage of an underpar voucher 2 players unlimited golf for $99 yesterday. We were second out at 630AM on the palm course with 68° and no wind to greet us. Greg and I zoomed through the course only catching the 2 some in front of us on the 17th hole. We had nobody behind us and set a nice 2.75 hr pace.
Course is still in great shape all around except the bunkers. Tee's and fairways had full coverage and looked beautiful. Rough was mostly perfect within 10 yards of the fairway. Greens were not the best but not bad. When we were on them they all had mower marks but not level at all. I dont know if the grounds crew had trouble but if you were not putting up or down the direction of the mower your ball would bounce. I think its a easy fix with one more mow and roll of the greens.
The only Major disappointment here are the bunkers. They have almost no sand and what is in the bunker is like a wet clay mixture. I was in three bunkers, 1 fairway 2 greenside, and the fairway bunker had more sand than the green side bunkers. They really need to address this for their next major project.
In all if you can buy the UP voucher it is 100% worth it.» Close
Took advantage of a underpar voucher yesterday at Shadowridge. I had never played here before and after seeing Sals... » More
Took advantage of a underpar voucher yesterday at Shadowridge. I had never played here before and after seeing Sals review it made the choice easy. I met up with an old high school friend who was out in the desert this weekend and off we went. We paired up with a father and his 11 year old son who was playing on a big course for the first time. We kept the pace at 4 hours and they were a pleasure to play with.
Conditions right now are spectacular as expected after a wetter than normal winter as well as the heat had only been turned up this week. Everything from tee to green were lush as can be with only a hand full of spots on one fairways looking like GUR from flooding. Greens ran smooth and medium pace as well as being receptive. The only issue I had was a few bunkers need to be turned up as they were a little more firm than some people like.
The UP voucher is a steal for the place right now. I highly recommend!» Close
Matt Pisarski's GK Buddies
« Previous | 1 to 14 of 16 Buddies | Next »