Matt Pisarski's Golf Statistics
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Matt Pisarski's Favorites
Where Matt Pisarski Plays Golf
Los Angeles County; San Bernardino County; Riverside County; Palm Springs Area; Orange County; San Diego County; Ventura County; Santa Barbara County; Sacramento Area; Monterey Bay Area; Santa Cruz Area; Las Vegas Area; Mesquite/St.George Area; Laughlin/Bullhead City; Phoenix Area; Western Arizona; Northwest Coastal; Southwest Coastal; Seattle/Tacoma/Bremerton; Spokane/Eastern
What's in Matt Pisarski's Golf Bag
Cobra KING F8+ set at 9.5°
TM RBZ 3W
TM SLDR 5W
Taylor Made Speed Blade 4-AW
Cleveland TFI 2135 with jumbo winn grip
Srixon or Kirkland Golf balls
Last Updated: July 17, 2018
I love to play whenever I can and I love to play new courses. Please laugh at my terrible shots because I know I will.
Chuck Norris once Duffed a shot in Arizona and now we have the Grand Canyon
Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? In case he gets a hole in one.
What do you call a blonde at a golf course? The 19th hole.
What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron.
How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? He always puts his driver in the wrong bag.
How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? By stragetically placing fire hydrants.
Why are golf and sex so similar? They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the course sometime.
What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
Who taught Elin Nordegren to swing a golf club? Happy Gilmore.
Where is the best place to go on vacation? In the Golf of Mexico!
What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Wash your balls.
Do you know why the game is called golf? Because all the other four letter words were taken.
It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take.
What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf? Fantastic 4-some.
A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right?"
What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter!
Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? Intercourse!
If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all?
Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Because it would interrupt their tea time.
What does a golfer do on his day off? Putter Around.
Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Because subtraction speaks louder than words.
What did the duck say to the golf ball? Nothing it should have ducked.
Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife? Because he thought every day he needed to play around.
What did the golfer say after performing yoga? "Damn, my shaft is all bent."
What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
How does a brunette keep her husband from a blond working at a golf course? She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one.
What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation? You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again!
Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five.
Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve.
"There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino
"Golf is my profession. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope
"You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot putt."
Which is the easiest golf stroke? The fourth putt!
How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? He's the one getting his balls cleaned.
Choose A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Seeing the astonished look on her face, he calmly said, "Well, you said I had to choose, right ?"
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn't show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is quite a beautiful woman. The lady turns to the three of them and says, "I don't care what the three of you do, cuss, smoke, chew, spit, fart or whatever. Just don't try to coach me on my game". The guys say okay and ask if she would like to tee off first. All eyes are on her ass as her skirt rides up when she bends over to place the ball. She then proceeds to knock the hell out of the ball right up the middle. She just starts pounding these guys, paring every hole. They get to the 18th and she has a 12-foot putt for par. She turns around and says, "You guys have done a great job at not trying to coach me on my game. I've never shot par before, and I'm going to ask your opinions on this putt. Now if any of your opinions help me make the putt, I will give that guy a blow job he will never forget. " The guys think, 'what a deal!' The kid walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup." The father walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster, aim 12 inches to the right and the ball will break left 2 feet from the hole and fall into the cup." The grandpa looks at both of them in disgust, walks over picking up the ball, drops it into the cup, unzips his fly and says "That's a Gimme."
Golf Cart A man during his married years overturned his golf cart and a blonde said to him come to my place and rest. She was quite convincing and then took her clothes off once there. And he said "I don't think my wife is going to like this." And she answered "She will never know." He said "That's not the problem she's still under cart."
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Matt Pisarski's Golf Course Reviews
Played yesterday with a few friends who are members first off at 6:45. Luckily I got to pay the member rate of $115 which is a lot better than the rac... » More
Played yesterday with a few friends who are members first off at 6:45. Luckily I got to pay the member rate of $115 which is a lot better than the rack rate of $180. We zipped through at a quick pace of 3.5 hours. It would have been faster but we were warned that a shotgun start was happening on hole 15 at 830 so we took some time on a few hole.
The course was in much better condition than expected. When I think of this course I always knew it overpriced and not the greatest of conditions. That was not the case yesterday, With the exception of the sand traps the course was in pretty decent shape. Tee Boxes flat and many tee's to choose from with ample room to tee up. Fairways were a bit short but had great coverage and had great lies. Greens are getting ready for maintenance in a week and they have pulled 5-10 dime sized core samples on a few greens. the greens were running smooth and if you haven't played here before they're tough to gauge. Every up hill put I had seemed to come up short by a considerable amount, they were all against the grain so that always hurts speed.
The lone bad spot was the two traps I found had very little sand. It did look like they're working on that because a few green side bunkers looked to have newer sand. Overall I was surprised because I went in expecting the course to be in rough shape after the summer heat and previous reviews. The staff was super friendly but I was also playing with members who have the first tee time every Sunday so they knew all of my friends by name.
To be honest, is it worth the rack rate? No but if you can find a deal for around $100 its not bad. I would compare the conditions to that of Oak Quarry in the I.E. Good not great. If you are in the area its not a bad option because the choices for good golf in orange county is few and far between unless you want to spend $250-300 for pelican or monarch.» Close
Had a Enjoyable round with Rob, Mark, and Perry yesterday. Big shout out to Johnny for setting us up and Eagle Glen for hosting the GK cup final. We t... » More
Had a Enjoyable round with Rob, Mark, and Perry yesterday. Big shout out to Johnny for setting us up and Eagle Glen for hosting the GK cup final. We tee'd off about 1047 and finished at 415 for a brutally slow round. Fortunately our foursome was having fun the entire time with Rob breaking clubs and Perry getting mad at us for being happy and talkative (just Kidding) We still had a blast.
Conditions were to be expected at the end of a dry and hot summer. The course had decent coverage tee to green it just didn't have that pristine look to it. I only had one bad lie in the fairway all day which looked to have been from a broken sprinkler causing a mini wash out of grass on hole 4. Tee's were mostly level and gave a wide area to place your tee. Greens were good after the first two holes. For some reason they first few greens were patchy like they were trying to kill some weeds . Luckily the rest were good, Most were soft and rolled true and medium fast pace. Sand was either perfect or terrible, they are in the process of adding or redoing bunkers. I was in 3 and two were super soft and one had no sand.
Overall this is a very fun course and by the looks and reviews its getting better and better. They recently bought new carts that have the Shark Experience. Sadly there was an issue with the system today which was brought up in the clubhouse. We did get the music and GPS working by hole 13. It's a interesting concept but I can see how purists wont like the music.» Close
Played 9/9 with Nick, Perry, and Ron on a very hot day. The temp was 110 with light winds. Thanks to Johnny for setting us up with an additional round... » More
Played 9/9 with Nick, Perry, and Ron on a very hot day. The temp was 110 with light winds. Thanks to Johnny for setting us up with an additional round to the GK Cup match going on behind us. I got there early and took advantage of their Sunday brunch which was tasty albeit expensive at $32. It did include bottomless mimosas and bloody mary's so that is an advantage if you like those drinks.
Conditions were very good for this time of the year especially with all of the heat that we have had in August. Bermuda grass was in great shape from tee to green. All aspects were lush with little to no heat damage. Greens were firm but slow I had some troubles getting shots to stop and spin but nothing to serious to be mad about.
Personally I like the celebrity course more even though it only has 2 par 3's and 5's. Players is a par 72 and has some great character but the three of the Par 3's were playing 175 yards which is too repetitive for my liking. I also noticed that on the fairways I seemed to always be 145 yards out or so. Not a ton of distance changes on the Par 4's. We played from the orange tee's today and the par 5's are still long and designed to make your 2nd shot very difficult with either water or sand to protect the greens.
Overall the Players is still better than most courses out in the desert but personally I'd choose Celebrity over players any day.» Close
Joined up with the GK Family last weekend at Grandview. Thanks to Johnny and the staff at Grandview for setting up this fun event. To be brutally hone... » More
Joined up with the GK Family last weekend at Grandview. Thanks to Johnny and the staff at Grandview for setting up this fun event. To be brutally honest I was not expecting the greatest conditions or course layout going into this round. Boy was I wrong. This Course has a fun layout and the conditions far exceeded my expectations.
Everything was in fantastic summer shape. Lush tee's, fairways, rough, and greens. I don't know what type of grass they have but the ball sat up nicely in fairways and rough was not over penalizing. Greens were perfect and have some crazy designs on a few holes. It would take a few round to learn the breaks on these greens. I must have missed 15 putts by misidentifying the break. The greens were receptive and rolled smooth all day.
Overall if you are in the area it is a great place to play and a wonderful value especially the snack bar.» Close
Wanted to play early on Labor day so I found a tee time at Meadowlark. After playing here once a week after work It had been 2 years since playing her... » More
Wanted to play early on Labor day so I found a tee time at Meadowlark. After playing here once a week after work It had been 2 years since playing here. nothing has changed. POP is still terrible. I saw three 6somes on the course. No Marshall to be seen all day. POP 5 hrs.
Conditions are still pretty bad. Id compare the conditions to shore cliffs or green river. Lots of different grass, firm lies, and terrible tee boxes. I will however say the one sand trap I found was the softest sand I had ever played in. Go Figure right?
If you are looking for a practice round in the late afternoon this is the place for you, but don't expect good conditions or fast pace. I give it a 4 out of 10» Close
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